For many individuals the holidays are not The most wonderful time of the year…… The holiday season can stir up a lot of emotions and pain associated with grief, relationship problems, loneliness, stress, financial problems, family conflict, and well the list can go on and on. The holidays tend to amplify many feelings, especially the negative ones. How can you manage the holiday season and your mental health??? Here are some thoughts and tips:

Photo by Olya Kobruseva on Pexels.com

Limit time with or avoid toxic people: You do not have to spend holidays with people who are toxic, no other explanation is needed here! If you feel an obligation to a toxic family member, limit your time with him or her. Maybe schedule a visit with another relative right after or before your visit with your difficult relative. This season the Coronavirus has given us all a great excuse to avoid people; you can also apply this to people who are bad for you too! If you feel guilty about not seeing a family member who is toxic, send them a nice letter in a Christmas card, a small gift, or make a donation in their name to charity. It does not matter what time of year it is, you are always entitled to protect yourself and surround yourself with healthy people.

Practice setting boundaries: During the holiday season, we all have to set limits. Think of ways you can perfect the art of saying “No” during the holiday season. This can be with finances, gift giving, social activities, or at work.  If you can’t do something during the holidays for whatever reason, you can just say “No”. You do not need to apologize, explain, or justify your reason. If “No” feels too harsh you can try something softer like, “I would love to but I can’t”. Avoid overextending yourself and putting yourself in stressful situations this holiday season.

Focus on your values: What does the holiday season mean to you? Are the holidays about religion, spirituality, family, giving back, or celebrating? Do not feel pressure to conform to others’ traditions around the holidays. Take some time to reflect on the meaning of the holiday season and allow your holiday celebrations to focus on what is important to you.

Take time to relax: Schedule down time during the holiday season. It is important to have some time to slow down, enjoy a peppermint hot chocolate or gingerbread chai hot tea, and just relax. Do not pack your schedule during the holiday season. You will only feel more stressed.

Recognize your feelings: It is okay if you are sad, angry or anxious this holiday season for whatever reason. Practice saying; “I feel ______ because ______” multiple times a day. This is a way of checking in with yourself.  Remember you can be sad and still find joy or happiness during the holiday season. For example, maybe you are sad because your mother is very sick in the hospital but you can still take time, appreciate, and find joy in things like the festive lights, some homemade cookies, or a holiday card from your old neighbor.  You can be sad and still have moments of joy, peace, and hope. Do not feel guilty about positive feelings during the holidays if you are going through some tough stuff, it is always okay to embrace happiness. Emotions are temporary and they come and go. Remind yourself of that too.

Practice self-care: Put your name on your holiday gift list and buy yourself a nice present! Take time to show yourself kindness and compassion during this busy and stressful season. You can take a walk around your neighborhood and look at the decorations, meditate to some instrumental holiday music, journal about your favorite holiday memories, take a warm bubble bath and light a balsam and fir candle, enjoy some winter apple scented hand cream, or schedule a holiday massage. Do whatever is comforting to you. Often we focus on giving and doing for everyone else around the holidays and we neglect ourselves. Take time for you and practice self-care this holiday season.  Self- care is not selfish, it is essential! 

Clean out your emotional closet: 2021 is almost here, a new year brings new challenges and goals but we still have to clean out our emotional closet and wrap up some mental health goals. What emotional baggage do you need to let go? What negative feelings do you need to release?  What conversations do you need to have? Do you need to apologize to anyone? Are you ready to forgive anyone? How has your mental health been this year? What do you need to reflect on? 

Do something nice:  Giving back, volunteering, and helping others is a great way to feel good on the inside. With the pandemic, this may be more challenging this holiday season but you can still do a lot of good. You can send holiday cards to a local nursing home, ask your local school if any children are in need of gifts and buy a student something special, go through your closet and donate clothes, make a donation to your favorite charity or send a gift card to a neighbor in need. 

Wishing you love, joy, peace, and good mental health this holiday season.

Posted on by karahmolesevich | Leave a comment

As the year comes to a close and we prepare to kiss 2020 goodbye, let’s keep grounded yet hopeful for a New Year.  Although romanticized and traditionally seen as a new start, 1200am on January 1st does not provide us with a magical switch to which all of our problems and fears disappear.  2020 has undoubtedly been a rollercoaster of 12 months but we need to keep perspective as we turn our calendars into a new set of months.  When we wake up January 1st may we feel the hope that the New Year provides and realistically continue to face our challenges, internally and externally.  How can we say goodbye to 2020 and say hello to 2021 in a healthy way?  Here are some tips for your New Year:

  1. Reflect Back: on 2020 and all that has happened within your life, good and bad.  Journal about your experiences with the pandemic and how it has impacted your life specifically.  Find blessings that occurred within the year that you never expected.  Review your photo reel in your phone from 2020 to help you remember key times over the past year.  Maybe you found a new hobby or finally tackled that home project that you never had time for.  Maybe your church family provided support to you when you lost income.  What can you reflect back on from 2020?
  2. Forward Thinking: What bad habits or toxic relationships do you want to extinguish from your life?  What changes do you want to make for yourself this year?  Set small, achievable goals for each month of the year.  Don’t try to tackle a lot of ambitious changes at once.  An effective behavioral change takes at least 30 days of consistency to be lasting.  New Year’s Resolutions are simple ideas, but concrete desires set into motion as goals are life changing.  Although you don’t ever need a special date to start implementing change in your life, starting 2021 with a new direction breeds hope.  What direction do you want to move forward in?
  3. Keep Going: We have all been in bad situations in life before.  Personally, professionally, or even relationally, each one of us has had to face life challenges.  How did you overcome those challenges?  What tools did you use?  Who did you lean on for support?  Those experiences have helped to prepare you for this time of your life.  2020 may have been crueler to you than others but you can choose to keep going.  You cannot always control the circumstances or outcomes but you sure can choose to show up and face the situation.  Keep going my friend.  We are cheering you on.

As 2020 comes to a close we wish you all peace for a healthy and happier 2021.  Keep yourself grounded and hopeful as you prepare for this New Year. 

Cheers, The MSC Team

Posted on by Jessica Ulmer, LPC | Comments Off on 2021: A New Year

If you are experiencing grief, a loss, depression, or a life change, the holidays can be difficult. Here is a list of tips to deal with different challenges over the holidays.

Honor your loved one who passed:

·        Make their favorite cookies or side dish for a holiday meal. 

·        Watch their favorite movie or listen to their favorite songs while driving around and looking at Christmas lights.

·        Journal about your favorite holiday memories of your loved one and share them with family.

·         Give a donation to a cause they were passionate about in their name.

·        Write a letter stating how much you love them or miss them during the holidays.

 Start some new traditions: If your loss is recent, still very painful, or was unexpected, you may find it helpful to celebrate the holidays differently this year:

·        Start new traditions: eat new foods, celebrate Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day, or attend a different church service.

·        Do not make such a big deal about the holidays: do some regular activities, listen to regular music on the radio, watch funny or happy movies, exercise, read books, organize or clean. 

·        Get away: spend a day or weekend visiting friends or exploring a small town or different city.

·        Make time for self- care and relax.

·        Scale back: have smaller celebrations with less frills. Less frills means less stress and less time and energy put into planning.

If you need to move on from a relationship or not think about/ see a toxic person:

·        Avoid social media and block the toxic person from all accounts, block their friends and family too.

·        Decline invitations to holiday parties where he/she may be.

·        Get rid of pictures and objects that remind you of him/her.

·        If you feel like calling or reaching out during the holidays, identify a backup friend or family member to call.

·        Make a list of the toxic person’s bad qualities to remind you of why he/she is out of your life and look at the list if you are tempted to reconcile or reach out.

·        If you are stuck ruminating, go outside, go for a walk, exercise, or do physical activity.

 Working through physical and mental illness:

·        Identify and lean on your support system.  Talk about how you are feeling. If you do not have a support system, look for online support groups and communities.

·        Journal about your feelings.

·        Focus on and identify the blessings, gifts, and positives in your life.

·        Make a list of all of your strengths and celebrate any progress you have made this year.

·        Practice self-compassion and kindness. Be patient and gentle with yourself.

·        Practice gratitude daily.

·        Surround yourself with people and things that you love and make you feel good.

·        Practice mindfulness.

·        Practice healthy coping skills

Posted on by karahmolesevich | Comments Off on Managing Grief or Loss Over the Holidays:

In graduate school, I remember memorizing the five steps to change for a test in my counseling theories class. I can almost see the highlighted index cards in my mind now! I frequently go back to this model and these steps when working with children and adults. Change is hard work! Behaviors turn into patterns and patterns get fixed very easily.  It takes insight, dedication, and commitment to make meaningful change. We are all capable of making changes in our life. However, some behaviors and conditions are more responsive to change than others. When deciding to make changes, it is important to set realistic goals and to be honest with yourself about the time and energy you are willing to commit to change.  It is also super important to recognize that you can only make meaningful change for yourself. Because change takes insight, commitment, and dedication, you cannot change another person, so please do not waste your time trying. You will only end up frustrated! No matter how many conversations you have, articles you send, or other efforts you make, if an individual does not wish to change, they won’t. Always focus on changing and improving yourself. Let’s go over the 5 steps to change…..

1.      Pre-contemplation– This means you are not willing to accept that you have a problem or need to change. Your friends and family may call your attention to your behavior but you still feel pretty good about keeping your habits. In stage one you do not really see the need for change and are not ready to take complete ownership or responsibility for your behaviors.

2.      Contemplation– At this stage you are able to say aloud and recognize that you have a problem but you are not ready to take any action steps to make a change.  This is the stage where people say things like, “I know I need to stop smoking or I’ll get cancer someday” but then they go and buy a pack of cigarettes. In stage two you are aware of the problem and what you need to do, you just are not ready to actually do anything.

3.      Preparation/Determination– In stage three, you start to investigate. In this stage, you start to make appointments, read books, and gather information. You start to develop and consider different options to make change and set goals. You spend more time thinking about the behavior you want to change and how you are going to do it. Stage three is when you start taking baby steps toward action.

4.      Action– In stage four you are actually doing new behaviors and you stop doing old behaviors. In this stage, you may be using replacement behaviors and relying heavily on good old fashion willpower to achieve your goals. If your goal is to lose weight and you are in stage four, you are eating a new more healthy diet, going to the gym, drinking more water, and getting lots of sleep. You may have even started to see some results.

5.      Maintenance– In stage five you are frequently using your new skills, thinking, and behaviors to maintain your change. There is a risk of relapse at this stage and some people go back to the problem behavior.  That is okay, you just go through the steps again.  Once you get to step five you will absolutely see results and feel like you have achieved your goal. Your loved ones will also notice that you have made a change.

What behaviors do you want to change and what step are you in????????

Posted on by karahmolesevich | Comments Off on Everything You Need to Know About Change……
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Our physical health can affect our mental health in so many ways.  My dad was recently in a very serious car accident and suffered a severe neck injury, so in addition to my counseling and psychology jobs, I have taken up nursing on the side! As my dad adjusts to his “new normal”, I have been trying to help with encouraging him to stay positive and to use some psychological techniques to keep his spirits up and to encourage both physical and emotional healing.  I wanted to write this article because I also have clients who struggle with anxiety and depression due to illness and injuries.  Being sick or hurt is scary and can evoke so many emotions.  Here are some tips that I have been using as “Nurse Karah” these past few days that you can try if you are struggling with physical pain, illness or injuries……

You can control very little that happens to you in life but one thing that you can always control is how you react:  You can always control your thoughts and your reactions. Even though it is extremely challenging when you are faced with tragic news or physical limitations, you can still decide to focus on the positive and use positive self-talk about the situation. Remind yourself of the facts, be hopeful, and focus on the probable outcome.  Avoid catastrophizing and negative thinking. Be willing to try and listen to what your health care providers say. 

Practice positive affirmations:  “I can do this”, “I am strong”, “I can recover”, “I’m not alone”, “I have support”.

Use visualization strategies: Visualizing and manifesting a goal are powerful tools that we use in therapy. Set a realistic goal for your recovery and then visualize yourself healing and achieving that goal. Close your eyes and picture a healthy and happy you in a few months. Picture the injured part of your body healing. Do this for five minutes each day.

Remind yourself of what you still have or can do:  We all have so many talents and gifts that when we are sick or have physical limitations, it is very easy to focus only on that. Make a list of the things that you still can do and try to do things that bring you joy.

Be mindful:  Try to stay in the moment and not worry about the future or be stuck in the past. Even though you may be in pain, try to stay present. Use your senses to explore what is going on in your environment. Notice the little things that are going on today. Try your best to live in the moment and not worry about the past or the future. If you start worrying, remind yourself to come back to the present. Try to meditate for a few minutes each day and if you can, take some deep breaths. 

Reflect on your support system:  One of the beautiful things about a health crisis is that you realize how great your friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, and even strangers can be. This is a good time to reflect on the beautiful qualities of humanity and how many people love and support you. Do not worry about being a burden to others. Do not be afraid to ask for help or receive help when you need it.

Practice gratitude: Each day name or write down five things that you are grateful for or that bring you joy. Your dog, a good cup of tea, a nice sunset, that squirrel on your porch, a funny commercial on television, etc. can all make you smile. Each day there is so much good that surrounds us. Focus and learn to value the small stuff. When you are sick or hurting this is challenging, but if you practice this daily it will make a difference in your mood.

Laugh and smile: There is research about this. Laughing and smiling release chemicals that will boost your mood. Even if nothing is funny, fake it and laugh!

Talk about your feelings: Name and state how you feel multiple times a day. Just do not judge or criticize yourself for your feelings. It is normal and anticipated to feel angry, sad, anxious, depressed or scared if you are sick. Comfort yourself with your self-talk. Tell yourself it is okay to have these feelings and that you are sorry you are suffering.  In addition, find a trusted friend or family member to talk to about your illness. Try writing about your feelings, do not keep them inside. If you do not have a therapist, you may want to consider finding one. If you are too sick to go to counseling, many therapists offer telehealth options.

Do not Google your illness!: Ask the doctors who are treating you questions about your condition, treatment, and prognosis.  Anyone can publish anything on the internet and not all information is correct or applies to you.  Googling information about your medical diagnosis can produce unnecessary anxiety, fear, and worry. Only a physician can diagnosis and treat you, you cannot diagnose or treat yourself, so do not try.

Lean on your higher power:  Pray, talk to your pastor, ask a Saint to intervene on your behalf, go to church, mosque, or temple, and ask others to pray for you.  Whatever healing rituals, services, or energies you believe in, now is the time to practice them. Try to ask your higher power for peace, healing, acceptance, courage, strength, and patients.

Find a support group: There are so many support groups online and in person to help people and families struggling with illness and injuries. Sometimes people who are in your exact situation understand and can support you best. Do not hesitate to join a support group, most are free. If you cannot find one, ask to talk to a hospital social worker for help.

Find what soothes you:  Think about what makes you feel calm and peaceful. This can be classical music, watching funny movies, petting your dog, journaling, knitting, or crossword puzzles. Try to do something soothing for yourself each day. You deserve to be kind and take care of yourself daily, and especially when you are sick.

Be smart about caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and drug use: Many people use substances to cope with bad news and physical pain. Once you come down from the high, you will probably feel worse. I am not a physician, but many of these substances probably will not help your medical condition. If you are sick, please talk to your doctor prior to using any of these substances. Try to find healthy ways to manage your stress and emotions.

Be patient and accept where you are at: This is easier said than done. Illness can require multiple treatments and surgeries and recovery can be long. Take things one day at a time. Frequently reflect on any progress you made, no matter how small. Celebrate small victories and try your best to stay positive. Try to find peace with your current situation and accept your condition or diagnosis.  Suffering is an unfortunate part of life but often provides us with an opportunity to grow spiritually and emotionally. 

Wishing you and your loved ones the best as you recover and manage your illness.

Posted on by karahmolesevich | Comments Off on Keeping Ourselves Healthy

You do not have to be a counselor, psychologist, or therapist to give good advice that can help inspire others to grow and to heal. I borrow bits of wisdom that I hear from all over the place. I tend to remember and use quotes when working with children and adults from an eclectic blend of people: actors, athletes, designers, musicians, many I find on Instagram. I am not even ashamed to say that I have found very useful and healing advice from a few of the Real Housewives on Bravo that I have shared with my clients. Here is a list of sayings and quotes to ponder about self-compassion, positivity, and healing from a wise and influential diverse group without a background in psychology. The first one is my favorite!

“Give the girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.” Marilyn Monroe

“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” Coco Chanel

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” Oprah Winfrey

“The most important relationship you have in life is the relationship you have with yourself.”  Diane von Furstenberg

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” Marilyn Monroe

“No one but ourselves can free our minds.” Bob Marley

“You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”  Mark Twain

“Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you, who you are.” Beyonce

 “In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” Coco Chanel

“I don’t think of all the misery but of the beauty that still remains.” Anne Frank

“It’s not how much you have that makes people look up to you, it’s who you are.” Elvis Presley

“I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.” Michael Jordan

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.” Wayne Gretzky

“The only failure is not to try.” George Clooney

Posted on by karahmolesevich | Comments Off on Karah’s Favorite Inspirational Quotes:

Making the world a better place, helping others, and being generous are beautiful and wonderful traits. I truly believe that our purpose on Earth has a lot to do with that above list. However, I also believe that the extremes of anything, even goodness, can turn into a bad thing.  Being a “People-pleaser”, “Care-taker” or “Peace-maker” unfortunately can lead to big problems if you do not have healthy boundaries in place and if you are engaging in these behaviors for the wrong reasons. It is never healthy or okay to help others when that helping results in harming yourself or them.  Do any of the below items resonate with you?????

·        Caring about me  or taking care of myself is selfish or wrong

·        I only feel good if I am doing good for others

·        I’ll lie to help or cover for someone

·        I hate rejection and need others to accept and validate me

·        I take the blame when it isn’t my fault so the problem goes away

·        I don’t share my opinions or ideas to avoid making others upset

·        I avoid confrontations at all cost

·        I put 99% of the effort into my relationships

·        I never stand up for myself or tell others “no”

·        I always put myself last

·        I bend over backwards to help people

·        I try to fix people and help them to change

·        I put more effort into solving my loved-ones’ problems than they do

·        I apologize even if I haven’t done anything wrong

·        I let people who repeatedly hurt me stay in my life

·        I allow people to take advantage of me financially, emotionally, or physically

·        I feel guilty if I can’t help someone

·        I don’t deserve nice things or love

 If any of the above hit home, then it is time to look at your values, limits, and boundaries. It is good to be kind, but what are your motives? Why are you engaging in these behaviors and what do you get out of them? Don’t say “I don’t know“, because deep down inside you do know!  Be honest with yourself, why are you doing these things? Do you think your behaviors are healthy?

 I know these can be tough questions to answer. Humans engage in all behavior either to gain/receive something or to avoid/escape something. Everything you do at the end of the day is about you and your people-pleasing behavior is ultimately about you too! Many times, we engage in the above behaviors to relieve anxiety, establish control, to avoid guilt, to escape discomfort, or due to having a low self-esteem or being insecure. Many of us have learned these behaviors in childhood.  Often when we engage in “people-pleasing” we open ourselves up to manipulation, abuse, and enabling others.  Sometimes when we try to help too much, we end up hurting ourselves and others.

Don’t get me wrong, it is still wonderful to be helpful, thoughtful, and giving but in moderation and with the right intentions. If you tend to people-please or care-take set boundaries and limits to your giving and helping.  Also, make sure you are giving to yourself too! You are responsible for taking good care of yourself first, no matter what is going on in your world.  Self-care, self-compassion, and time to relax are extremely important to your physical, mental and spiritual health. Another good point to remember is that the only person you can change, heal or fix is YOU! Take time to get to know yourself and identify your strengths and what you would like to improve, then develop a plan to people- please, care- take and peace-make with yourself! Here are some tips to start:

·        Let the people in your life know that you are working on setting boundaries and that you are going to be trying to change your “people-pleasing” so they are prepared.

·         Do something nice for yourself each day- maybe a $5 coffee or smoothie treat, listen to music you like when driving, watch something that you want on television, take a hot bath. Do something every day to take care of you. You deserve it!

·        Take time each day to relax: a 15 minute walk, meditation, reading, deep breathing or whatever makes you feel calm.

·        Practice saying “no” and then pay attention to how you feel after, tell yourself it is okay to set limits and say “no”. It may not feel good at first, but you can learn that it is okay to say “no”.

·        When you say no, keep it short. Try these phrases: “I am sorry I can’t”, “If I could, I would but I can’t”, “No, thank you”, “I am not available”.  Then, walk away. This takes practice but you do not need to explain why you are saying no.

·        Set a budget and make schedules to manage money, time, and responsibilities, make sure you are being fair to you. When you reach your time or money limit, STOP!

·        Volunteer for charities or organizations that are not associated with family or friends so you can detach easily from these responsibilities. If you enjoy helping, try to help people who you do not have relationships with.

·        Practice expressing your feelings and opinions with people you feel safest with first.

·        Practice positive self-talk and affirmations. Remind yourself that you are worthy and deserve kindness, love, and beautiful things.

Photo by Valeriia Miller on Pexels.com
Posted on by karahmolesevich | Comments Off on A Message for People-Pleasers and Care-Takers…… STOP IT!

We are all so busy and rushed that we often tend to put ourselves and our needs last.  Life can be hectic but practicing self-care is necessary to maintain good mental health. If you think your schedule is already jam- packed, try some of these easy ways to practice self-care:

Take a five-minute fresh air break

Listen to a playlist of your favorite songs on your drive to work

Buy yourself a tasty treat; life is too short not to eat a cookie!

Stand up and stretch

Wear your favorite color, comfy shoes, or a warm sweater today

Light your favorite scented candle at home

Watch the sunrise or sunset, or count the stars at night 

Sing in the shower

Dance in the kitchen

Smile at strangers (even if you are wearing a mask your eyes can smile too!)

Wrap up with a fuzzy blanket on the couch or keep slippers under your desk

Pet your dog or cat

Savor your coffee or tea in the morning

Drink and eat slowly

Park further away and take the stairs at work

Laugh at your co-worker’s jokes, even if they aren’t that funny!

Scroll through your phone and look at your favorite photos of family and friends

Compliment yourself and say positive affirmations

Take a technology break

Text an old friend

Pay it forward; buy someone a coffee or do a good deed

Posted on by karahmolesevich | Comments Off on No Time for Self-Care?

We all naturally look for ways to cope with our problems, hence the term “coping skills”. Some coping skills are healthy, positive, and help us get through difficult times. Unfortunately, some coping skills are maladaptive, meaning they are bad for us. Especially during the pandemic, we are all looking for ways to get through challenges at work and at home. Take a look at the list of healthy or “adaptive” coping skills and maladaptive coping skills. If you see one of your go to coping strategies on the maladaptive side, try to replace it with one from the healthy coping skills list!

Maladaptive Coping Skills vs. Healthy Coping Skills

Eating junk food
Eating healthy snacks: nuts, fruits, and vegetables

Drinking alcohol
Drinking tea, coffee, water or fresh juice

Screaming at the dog
Taking the dog for a walk

Obsessing over things you can’t change
Making small changes to things you can

Beating yourself up with words
Showing yourself compassion with words

Biting your nails
Getting your nails done as a treat

Sleeping too much
Waking up early to exercise

Online shopping
Organizing your clothes to donate old stuff

Blaming others
Taking responsibility

Punching the wall
Squeezing a stress ball

Overextending yourself
Setting healthy boundaries

Worrying about what may happen in the
future
Practicing mindfulness

Picking at your skin
Adult coloring books, journaling or drawing

Hanging around complainers
Spending time with positive peopled


Staying busy to push away feelings
Accepting feelings, knowing they will pass

Posted on by karahmolesevich | Comments Off on Maladaptive Coping Skills
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Okay, we do not mean that literally. This is not information regarding food or dietary concerns rather, what messages are you feeding your brain with your self-talk? What are the automatic thoughts that you are saying to yourself? Take note of your self-talk and you might be surprised by the thoughts that just pop into your head. These automatic thoughts can be very powerful and lead to how we react and feel. If you happen to feed yourself negative thoughts, consider the negative cycle or steps that can result.

  1. 1)  Negative thought
  2. 2)  Create doubts worries
  3. 3)  Produce unpleasant feelings
  4. 4)  Make you feel sad, depressed, anxious and uptight
  5. 5)  Affect what you do
  6. 6)  Feel disinterested and unmotivated
  7. 7)  Confirm your failure (and back to #1)

Sounds a bit familiar, doesn’t it? Well, the good news is that it doesn’t need to continue. We challenge you each to PAY ATTENTION to your thinking!! You can break the negative thought cycle and change to a positive thought cycle. Once you know what you are telling yourself, you can counter think those nasty thoughts. Try not to get so distracted by the world and what is going on around you. Pay attention to what you are telling yourself and show yourself kindness and compassion with your internal dialogue.

So what do you do with these negative thoughts once you identify them? First, remember, a thought is just a thought. You have the power to dismiss it or continue thinking negatively – It truly is your choice. Here are some strategies:

  1. 1)  Perhaps, you note the negative thought without self-judgement and imagine it floating away from your mind. Picture yourself holding a balloon with the negative thought inside and imagine yourself releasing the balloon and watching it float away.
  2. 2)  Perhaps, you recognize that you just catastrophized something and notice the absurdity of the thought- (What are the chances of this happening to me? What is the worst thing that can happen to me in this situation?) Ask yourself if your thoughts are rational or irrational.
  3. 3)  Perhaps, you find yourself labeling: Instead of saying, “I made a mistake,” you tell yourself, “I’m such an idiot.” Take a deep breath and speak kindly to yourself – Gently, correct your error, if you made one. Everyone makes mistakes and that is okay!

So, PAY ATTENTION to your thinking and make the choice to feed yourself healthy thinking. Feed yourself good healthy positive thoughts and the throw the negative ones into the garbage!

Stay calm and breathe deeply, Suzanne and Karah

Posted on by karahmolesevich | Comments Off on What are You Feeding Yourself?